When actor Suniel Shetty just lately shared his ideas on marriage and parenting in an interview, his feedback ignited a wave of backlash on-line.
Chatting with Pinkvilla, he stated, “Shaadi kya chiz hai mujhe samajh mein hello nahi aata. Bachhon mein persistence hai hello nahi. Shaadi kuch time ke baad ek samjhauta hota hai (I don’t perceive what marriage is anymore. Children lately don’t have any persistence. Marriage is a compromise after a while), the place it’s a must to perceive one another, and dwell for one another. Uske baad ek bacha aata hai, aur patni ko yeh jaan na zaruri hai ki husband profession banayega toh bachhe ko essential dekh rahi hoon (Then comes a baby, and the spouse must know that if the husband makes a profession, I’ll care for the children). Husband, after all, saath mein dekhega hello. Aaj kal sab cheez mein strain bohot ho gaya hai, kyuki gyaan dene wale bohot log hain. (The husband will, after all, take care of them collectively, however there’s numerous strain in all the things lately, as a result of there are lots of people to present you unsolicited recommendation).”
He added, “I believe expertise se hum seekhe toh higher hota hai (if we be taught, it’s higher) – from the mom, from the naani, from the daadi, the sister, the in-laws. I believe woh cheez bohot maine rakhta hai (That is essential, I believe).”
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His remarks, suggesting that the spouse ought to take main accountability for elevating a baby in order that her husband can give attention to his profession, drew sturdy criticism on social media platforms. Many netizens didn’t maintain again. Whereas some referred to as his mindset outdated and “typical of Indian uncles,” others described it as outright misogynistic.
One Reddit person commented, “Actually, guys why are you stunned. He’s not precisely talking for our era. He’s 65, actually grandparents ka era.” One other wrote, “So he’s a typical misogynist,” whereas one person remarked, “I’m a hard-core feminist. Yeah, he’s imagining a world the place husband is the one working, and life can proceed on a single earnings. However there’s nothing deliberately sexist about it.”
Why is it problematic to imagine {that a} lady ought to routinely tackle the first position of elevating a baby so her accomplice can give attention to constructing a profession?
Neha Parashar, medical psychologist, Mindtalk, tells indianexpress.com, “This assumption stems from deeply entrenched gender roles that view caregiving as a girl’s pure obligation and career-building as a person’s. When society reinforces this narrative, it strips each companions of the chance to decide on roles primarily based on private strengths, preferences, or sensible realities.”
Psychologically, she mentions that it positions motherhood as an obligation reasonably than a selection, which might result in “internalised guilt or resentment in ladies who want to pursue skilled objectives.” It additionally locations undue strain on males to be sole suppliers, doubtlessly chopping them off from emotionally rewarding facets of parenthood.
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How can {couples} as we speak rethink and redefine parenting obligations in a extra balanced and equitable approach?
“Step one is to take away the concept that caregiving has a default gender. Parenting must be considered as a talent set, not a task primarily based on gender. {Couples} ought to actively talk about their expectations, values, and help programs even earlier than the kid arrives,” notes Parashar.
In dual-income households, transparency and planning are key. This implies dividing obligations not simply primarily based on availability but in addition bearing in mind every accomplice’s emotional bandwidth, profession phases, and long-term objectives. Most significantly, {couples} should give one another permission to be susceptible, drained, or imperfect. Co-parenting is about mutual respect and emotional presence from each side, concludes the knowledgeable.
