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    Home»Modeling»When Bollywood calls you ‘Param Sundari’ but your date just calls you coconut guy | Feelings News
    Modeling

    When Bollywood calls you ‘Param Sundari’ but your date just calls you coconut guy | Feelings News

    steamymarketing_jyqpv8By steamymarketing_jyqpv8August 28, 2025No Comments6 Mins Read
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    Bollywood has at all times had a manner of turning folks into props. You don’t have to know a state, its language, or its tradition — you simply want a lungi, a faux accent, and some jokes about coconuts.

    The most recent flashpoint is Param Sundari. Technically, the phrase means “everlasting magnificence,” however in Bollywood, everlasting often lasts about three minutes of an merchandise track. The true kicker, although, is the heroine’s title: Thekkapetta Sundari Damodaran Pillai. Now, to somebody in Mumbai, this in all probability sounds unique and lyrical. In native slang, “thekkapetta” means “betrayed magnificence.” Think about making a grand, dramatic entrance solely to declare your self “Miss Betrayed”. That’s Param comedy. Unfunny. My sense is that they needed to write down, and say, “Thekkeppatte” instead of “Thekkapetta”, wherein case, it might have made sense. I received’t clarify this, ask your Malayali associates.

    Visuals, naturally, are straight out of the “South Indian starter pack.” Jasmine flowers pinned within the hair, ladies dancing Mohiniyattam prefer it’s cardio, limitless backwaters with conveniently parked houseboats. Apparently, each Malayali girl wakes up, attaches a garland, does some classical twirls, and rows to the workplace. Neglect IT hubs, startups, and airports — the stereotype is that we’re principally extras in our personal tourism advert.

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    Out of all of the actresses in Kerala — and there are loads who can act, dance, and, minor element, truly converse Malayalam and Hindi — Bollywood determined at hand the position to Janhvi Kapoor. Which might be high-quality, besides her accent within the teaser was up to now off that Malayalis needed to watch it twice: as soon as to determine what she stated, and once more to substantiate a brand new dialect was invented. It’s not her fault fully — she’s doing what she was directed to — nevertheless it begs the query: are Malayali actors invisible to Bollywood except they play villains or sidekicks?

    However right here’s the factor: stereotyping doesn’t simply occur in cinema. It additionally occurs in love. And if you happen to’re a Malayali man courting ladies from North India, you rapidly realise you’ve been typecast in roles you by no means auditioned for.

    Take meals. On considered one of my first dates in Delhi, the girl requested me with real curiosity: “So… you eat rice thrice a day?” I instructed her sure. And generally 4. If rice had been a faith, Malayalis could be born-again believers. For a lot of north Indians, rice is convalescent meals — one thing you eat when you’ve got a fever. For us, it’s breakfast, lunch, dinner, and if you happen to’re fortunate, dessert within the type of payasam.

    And the shock doesn’t cease there. As soon as, once I ordered appam and stew at a restaurant, the girl throughout the desk whispered, “So… you don’t eat naan in any respect?” As if naan had been Aadhaar, and my life was incomplete with out it.

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    There’s additionally the mundu drawback. A couple of girl has checked out me with gentle disappointment once I confirmed up in denims. They appeared to anticipate me to reach in a crisp white mundu, folded up on the knee, able to carry out a Mohanlal monologue. To them, my denim felt like a betrayal of character — like Spider-Man displaying up with out his costume.

    The mundu stereotype runs deep. At a celebration in Delhi, once I truly did put on one, a pal’s date whispered, “Is that this cosplay?” For Bollywood, a mundu is a joke. For us, it’s formalwear. For everybody else, apparently, it’s Comedian-Con.

    The language check is one other basic. “Say one thing in Malayalam,” a lady as soon as requested, eyes glowing as if I used to be about to carry out a magic trick. I did. “Why does it sound such as you’re scolding me?” she requested. Truthful query. Malayalam is a type of languages the place even an “I really like you” can sound like a visitors violation.

    Stereotyping doesn’t simply occur in cinema. It additionally occurs in love (Supply: Freepik)

    Coconut jokes are, in fact, inevitable. “Do you place coconut in actually the whole lot?” I’ve been requested extra occasions than I can rely. The reply is sure. It’s not a bug, it’s a characteristic. One girl requested if my shampoo had grated coconut in it. At this level, I don’t even struggle it. Coconut is Kerala’s model ambassador, whether or not we prefer it or not.

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    Geography is one other ache level. “So Kochi is in Tamil Nadu, proper?” a lady as soon as requested casually. “Sure,” I stated, “Like Mumbai is in Meghalaya.” I needed I hadn’t stated that. Some truths are too sophisticated to clarify in the midst of a date. I ordered a filter espresso and moved on.

    Courting additionally comes with political assumptions. “Do all Malayalis argue about communism on the primary date?” one girl requested. I instructed her no — solely on the second date, and that too, provided that the restaurant invoice is unfairly distributed. One other girl as soon as requested if I carried a “pink” flag in my backpack. I instructed her no, simply banana and jackfruit chips.

    All of this would possibly sound humorous — and it typically is. However it additionally factors to why Bollywood’s stereotypes sting. As a result of what’s innocent curiosity can rapidly flip into flattening. You cease being Vivek, the person, and turn into The Coconut Man. Or The Mundu Man. Or worse, The Mohanlal-in-training.

    And that’s the actual difficulty with Bollywood’s lazy lens. It doesn’t simply erase range on display. It trickles into how folks understand us off display — in school rooms, in workplaces, and sure, even in love lives.

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    The issue with stereotyping will not be that it’s at all times offensive. It’s that it’s at all times reductive. Bollywood’s drawback is similar as our courting lives — too many roles written by somebody who has by no means truly been to Kerala.

    As a result of right here’s the reality. No one falls in love with a stereotype. You don’t fall for “the Coconut Man” or “the Butter Hen Lady.” You fall for the bizarre, unpredictable, particular issues: the way in which she fights you for the final piece of appam, the way in which he orders payasam prefer it’s life or loss of life, the way in which each of you chortle at jokes solely you discover humorous.

    Bollywood will preserve stereotyping us, however love has to do higher. If cinema reduces folks to props, no less than in relationships, we must always resist the lazy script. Or else, we’ll all be caught with the world’s worst sequels.

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